STEP 9:
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
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GOING DEEPER: TYPE 6 & STEP NINE
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For returning participants: This deeper pass of Step Nine transforms fear into trust. As a Type 6, your loyalty and courage are already strong—now they become grounded in self-trust and faith rather than doubt and reactivity.
Gentle reminder: You do not need certainty before making an amends. Willingness is enough.
1) The 5-S Filter (Safety • Sponsorship • Sincerity • Specifics • Surrender)
Aim: Move forward with trust instead of waiting for perfect certainty.
- Safety: Do not make amends that would harm you or them.
- Sponsorship: Check your plan with a trusted guide; don’t rely only on your mind.
- Sincerity: Motive = repair, not reassurance or approval.
- Specifics: One behavior, one impact, one repair question.
- Surrender: Release the need to predict or control the outcome.
- Celebration cue: Acting in faith is your real courage.
2) Two-Minute Script (Type 6 cadence)
Aim: Speak clearly without over-explaining, defending, or seeking reassurance.
Use it, then stop talking. Trust the process.
- Thank you for meeting with me.
- “When I [specific behavior]…”
- “…I imagine it may have left you feeling [uncertain / unsupported / pressured / hurt].”
- “That was my part. I’m sorry.”
- “Is there anything you need from me now?”
- “I’m practicing [opposite behavior] so this doesn’t repeat.”
Boundary if needed: “I want to stay present and not over-explain. If I do, I may pause and reset.”
Celebration cue: Trust grows when you act, not when you overthink.
3) Defense → Impact → Repair Map (Tie Steps 6 → 9)
Aim: Turn fear-based patterns into grounded repair.
| Defense I Used | Likely Impact on Them | Repair I Can Offer |
|---|---|---|
| Doubt / second-guessing | Felt unstable or uncertain | Acknowledge inconsistency; act more decisively |
| Seeking reassurance | Felt pressure or responsibility | Own your decisions; reduce reliance on others for certainty |
| Reactivity (fight/flight) | Felt overwhelmed or unsafe | Pause before reacting; respond more calmly |
| Suspicion / projection | Felt mistrusted or accused | Own assumptions; check reality before reacting |
Celebration cue: Trust grows each time you respond instead of react.
4) Special Cases & Discernment
- Power Imbalance: Stay grounded; avoid collapsing or over-deferring.
- Family Systems: Keep it simple—no over-explaining.
- Legal/Financial: Seek guidance; take steady, clear steps.
- Abuse Contexts: Do not contact abusers; choose indirect or prayer-based amends.
- Celebration cue: You can trust yourself to walk through this.
5) Living Amends: Proof Over Time
Aim: Replace fear-driven reactions with steady action.
Choose two opposite behaviors for 30 days.
| Opposite Behavior | Daily Check | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| Pause before reacting | __ __ __ __ __ __ __ | “I stayed grounded.” |
| Make decisions without seeking reassurance | __ __ __ __ __ __ __ | “I trusted myself.” |
Celebration cue: Each small act of trust builds inner strength.
6) Rehearsal: Three Moves for Trust
- Body: Slow your breathing; ground yourself.
- Voice: Speak simply; avoid over-explaining.
- Mind: Replace “what if?” with “I will handle what comes.”
Celebration cue: You are more capable than your fear suggests.
7) If They Say… (Response Grid)
| Their Response | Your Line | Next Step |
|---|---|---|
| “Thank you.” | “I appreciate you hearing me.” | Continue steady actions. |
| “You missed something.” | “Thank you for telling me.” | Adjust repair. |
| “Not ready.” | “I understand.” | Continue living amends. |
| Angry | “I want to hear you.” | Pause and regroup. |
8) Prayer for Step 9 (Type 6)
Higher Power, help me trust myself and trust You as I make these amends. Guide me to act with courage instead of fear. Teach me to let go of overthinking and walk forward in faith. Let my actions bring healing, stability, and connection. Amen.
Summary of Going Deeper: Step Nine for Type 6 is choosing trust over fear. Each time you act with courage and follow through, you build a deeper foundation of strength and faith.