Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
For Enneagram Type 6 (The Loyalist), Step Three at Surrender School is about releasing fear, doubt, and a tendency to seek security through external sources. Type 6s often rely on rules, structures, or other people to provide a sense of safety, but this can lead to overthinking, anxiety, and an unhealthy relationship with food as a way to cope with insecurity. Step Three encourages Type 6s to place their trust in a Higher Power instead, allowing them to find inner security and peace rather than relying solely on external systems or relationships.
Release the Need for Control and Certainty:
Type 6s often struggle with fear and uncertainty, which can lead to overthinking and trying to control situations. They may use food to manage their anxiety or feel more grounded when things seem uncertain. Step Three invites Type 6s to surrender the need for certainty and control, trusting that their Higher Power is guiding and protecting them.
By trusting their Higher Power, Type 6s can learn to let go of their need to predict and control outcomes.
- Reflection question: “How has my need for certainty and control affected my relationship with food, and how can I trust that my Higher Power will guide and protect me?”
Trust in a Power Greater Than External Authority:
Type 6s often look to external authorities or systems (e.g., diets, rules, or people) for guidance and security. Step Three encourages Type 6s to shift their focus from external sources of authority to their Higher Power, trusting that divine guidance is more reliable than any external system.
This step helps Type 6s develop inner faith and trust that their Higher Power has their best interests at heart.
- Reflection question: “How can I start trusting my Higher Power more than external rules or authorities, and how might that help me develop greater confidence in myself and my choices?”
Find Security in Surrender Rather Than Self-Reliance:
Type 6s often feel that they must be hyper-vigilant to avoid danger or chaos. This can lead to a sense of isolation and a reliance on food to cope with their anxiety. Step Three encourages them to find security not in constant vigilance or self-reliance but in the surrender to a Higher Power. By doing so, Type 6s can experience peace and the reassurance that they don’t have to handle everything on their own.
Turning their will over to their Higher Power gives them a sense of safety without the need for constant worry or overthinking.
- Reflection question: “How has relying on myself to manage all my fears led to stress, and how can trusting my Higher Power help me feel secure without needing constant control?”
Trust the Process Instead of Seeking Immediate Answers:
Type 6s often seek immediate solutions to calm their anxieties, which can result in impulsive decisions, including with food. Step Three invites them to trust that their Higher Power has a plan, even if the path isn’t immediately clear. Learning to live with uncertainty and trusting the process can help Type 6s make healthier, more mindful decisions over time.
By surrendering the need for instant answers, Type 6s can find comfort in the unfolding of a greater plan.
- Reflection question: “How can I trust my Higher Power to guide me through uncertainty rather than seeking quick fixes or immediate solutions?”
Summary:
For Type 6s, working Step Three is about surrendering the need for external security, certainty, and control to their Higher Power. By trusting in divine guidance rather than their own fears or external authorities, Type 6s can begin to experience inner peace and a sense of safety that doesn’t rely on hyper-vigilance or overthinking. This step helps them move away from anxiety-driven behaviors, including overeating, and toward a more trusting and relaxed relationship with life and food.
Want to go deeper?
Explore Going Deeper: Type 6, Step 3
Living Freer
Step Three asks for a decision, and decisions are hard-won territory for a Six who wants every angle covered before committing to anything. This Step doesn’t require Sixes to stop thinking; it invites them to stop making their thinking the last line of defense. Turning will and life over lets Sixes practice something almost foreign: acting on trust before certainty arrives. It’s less a single leap than a series of small releases, each one loosening the grip of a mind that has learned to survive by staying one step ahead of whatever might go wrong.
Freedom From
- The job of pre-approving every outcome before you’ll allow it to happen
- Outsourcing your sense of safety to rules or authorities who can’t actually guarantee it
- The belief that surrender means recklessness instead of trust
- Endless mental rehearsal standing in for an actual decision
- Needing to control your eating as proof you can control your life
Freedom To
- Choose once, and let the choice stand without demanding a guarantee
- Let your Higher Power hold what you cannot predict
- Trust structures and people again, without handing them your entire sense of safety
- Let one small decision count as courage, even while your stomach is still in knots
- Rest in guidance instead of constant self-supervision
Why This Matters
Deciding to turn will and life over asks Sixes to do the very thing their fixation resists most: act before every variable is accounted for. Freedom From constant mental rehearsal, joined with Freedom To trusting a Higher Power with the unknown, matters because it moves surrender out of theory and into motion — a Six’s first real experiment in letting go before an outcome is confirmed safe. This shift is the hinge of early recovery: once a Six practices deciding and releasing, even in small ways, guidance starts to feel more trustworthy than control ever was, and that discovery makes every later Step possible.
Step Three Invitation
Each morning this week, make one small decision — what to eat, what to say, where to start — and hand the outcome to your Higher Power before you know how it turns out.
Prayer for Step Three
Higher Power, I want to hand you my will and my life, but my hands keep closing around control. Loosen my grip today. Let me trust you with just this one decision, and let that be enough for now.