Step 5: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
The thought of admitting our wrongs to another person often brings fear of judgment or rejection. For Type 6s, this can be especially daunting due to their tendency to overthink, seek external validation, and fear letting others down. Many worry that sharing their truth will result in rejection or confirm their fears of inadequacy. However, through taking this step, Type 6s confront their fear and find that true security lies in honesty, connection, and trust in a Higher Power. Step Five often breaks through the anxieties that have kept them trapped, offering clarity, peace, and freedom.
Remember, it’s natural to feel scared. You are not alone. The fear is temporary, and by trusting the process, you’ll experience relief, healing, and freedom.
Sponsors guide us through Step Five by helping us uncover character defenses that keep us stuck, harm our well-being, and negatively impact our relationships. For Type 6s, these patterns often include over-reliance on reassurance/external validation, mistrust, self-doubt, and fear-based decision-making.
Preparing for Step 5
- Ask your Higher Power for the courage, honesty, and willingness this step requires.
- Read common Type 6 character defenses listed in the leftmost column of the Example Defenses Inventory (below).
- Reflect on the work you have done in Steps 1-4, notice any defenses (also known as patterns of behavior that cause problems in our relationships and life). No need to write them down, just ask yourself which ones show up as your sponsor will help you create your own Defenses Form?
- Your sponsor will help you create your own Defenses Form when you share your Step 4.
- Send the Step 5 Guide for Sponsors to your sponsor. Trust that your sponsor will ensure that you get through Step 5 together and that your sponsor will hold all the information you share in confidence.
- Make an appointment with your sponsor to complete this step.
You can use some of these examples to create your own Defense Form.
Click here to download Defense Form Examples with blanks.
Type 6 – Example Defense Form
Some common Type 6 defenses are: Ambivalence, Catastrophizing, Contrarian Thinking, Defensiveness, Indecisiveness, Insecurity, Overthinking, Pessimism, Projection, Reassurance-Seeking, Suspicion, and Worry.
| Defenses of Character | How It Shows Up in My Life (What I do) |
How It Harms Me (How What I do Makes Me Feel) |
How It Harms Others (How What I do Makes Others Feel) |
| Self-Doubt | I hesitate to make decisions, fearing I’ll fail or make the wrong choice. | I feel stuck and anxious, unable to move forward. | Others feel frustrated by my indecision or lack of confidence. |
| Mistrust | I question others’ intentions and struggle to trust their motives. | I feel isolated and disconnected from others. | Others feel misunderstood or unfairly judged. |
| Fear of Rejection | I seek constant reassurance to avoid feeling unworthy or abandoned. | I feel insecure and overly dependent on others’ approval. | Others feel pressured to constantly validate me. |
| Over-Control | I micromanage situations to reduce uncertainty and anxiety. | I feel exhausted and overly responsible. | Others feel stifled and unable to contribute fully. |
| Procrastination | I avoid tasks that seem overwhelming or likely to fail. | I feel guilty and unproductive. | Others feel burdened by my avoidance of responsibility. |
| Over-Reliance on Authority | I depend on others to tell me what to do to feel secure. | I feel powerless and overly dependent. | Others feel pressured to take responsibility for me. |
| Avoidance | I avoid conflicts or difficult situations to maintain peace. | I feel disconnected and unresolved. | Others feel unacknowledged or frustrated by my avoidance. |
| Anxiety | I overthink and imagine worst-case scenarios. | I feel paralyzed and unable to enjoy life. | Others feel drained by my constant worry. |
| Hyper-Vigilance | I’m always on alert for potential problems or threats. | I feel exhausted and unable to relax. | Others feel tense and unable to fully connect with me. |
Summary
For Type 6s, working Step 5 involves recognizing how fear, doubt, and mistrust impact their relationships and personal growth. By being honest, vulnerable, and open to feedback, Type 6s can gain deeper insights into their patterns, develop actionable plans for change, and make meaningful progress in their recovery journey. You have taken a vital step on your recovery journey. Take a moment to celebrate your progress.
Want to go deeper?
Explore Going Deeper: Type 6, Step 5
Living Freer
Saying the truth to another human is where a Six’s fear of exposure meets its biggest test yet — not just admitting wrongs, but discovering whether telling the truth actually gets you abandoned the way you always feared. It rarely does. Something in a Six begins to recalibrate the moment they finish the sentence and the room hasn’t collapsed: maybe honesty is survivable. Maybe it’s more than survivable — maybe it’s the very thing that finally quiets the internal committee that’s been cross-examining them for years.
Freedom From
- The certainty that being fully known will end in rejection
- Years spent rehearsing a rejection that isn’t actually coming
- Needing your listener’s reaction to be perfect before you’ll trust the process
- Carrying secrets as self-protection that has actually kept you isolated
- The exhausting work of managing what others think of you
Freedom To
- Discover that another human can hear the whole truth and still stay
- Let honesty, not vigilance, become your new form of safety
- Release the committee in your head that’s been building a case against you
- Trust one relationship enough to test whether trust is possible at all
- Feel the relief of being known instead of merely being careful
Why This Matters
For a Six, being fully known has always seemed like the riskiest possible position — the one thing certain to trigger abandonment. Freedom From that certainty, together with Freedom To discovering another human can hear the truth and stay, matters because it’s often the first lived proof, not just a hoped-for idea, that honesty is survivable. This matters enormously for a Six’s recovery: once vulnerability has been tested and lived through, trust stops being purely theoretical and becomes something actually practiced and felt.
Step Five Invitation
Before your Step Five, tell your listener one true, small thing you’ve never said out loud to anyone, and notice what it feels like when they simply stay.
Prayer for Step Five
Higher Power, I have hidden the truth to keep myself safe, but hiding has only kept me alone. Give me courage to speak plainly today, and let me discover that I can be fully known and still be held.