Enneagram Type 8: Step 10

Step 10 Guidance for Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger

(Customized for Overeaters Anonymous at Surrender School)

Direction from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous for Step 10

“Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.”
— Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84

Step 10 focuses on maintaining spiritual and emotional health by regularly examining our thoughts and actions. Whenever we notice selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, or fear surfacing, we turn to God, ask for help, and discuss our struggles with someone we trust. If we have harmed others, we make amends immediately, redirecting our energy toward helping others with love and tolerance as guiding principles.

Step 10 for Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger

Core Fear: Being controlled or betrayed
Core Desire: To protect themselves and assert control over their environment
Core Weakness: Excessive intensity, anger, and a fear of vulnerability

As an Enneagram Type 8 in Overeaters Anonymous, you are strong-willed, assertive, and focused on self-protection. Step 10 offers a way to manage the intensity and defensiveness that can arise when you feel threatened. By learning to recognize when your need for control or fear of betrayal drives your actions, you can maintain emotional balance, stay connected to your Higher Power, and foster healthier relationships.

1. Recognize When Anger or Control Is Masking Fear or Vulnerability

For Type 8s, anger is often the most immediate response to feeling vulnerable or out of control. Step 10 invites you to notice when anger is covering deeper fears, such as the fear of being betrayed or taken advantage of. These moments of tension provide an opportunity to ask God to remove the fear driving your need for control.

  • Daily Inventory Check: Throughout the day, ask yourself if anger or defensiveness is rooted in a deeper fear of losing control or being vulnerable.
    • Ask yourself:
      • Am I responding from a place of fear, or am I trying to maintain control to avoid feeling exposed?

2. Turn to God for Help with Your Intensity and Desire for Control

Type 8s often feel the need to control their environment and assert their strength. Step 10 is an invitation to turn to God when these desires become overwhelming. Rather than forcefully managing situations, ask God to help you release control and trust in a Higher Power to guide you.

  • Prayer for Control: When you feel the urge to dominate or control a situation, stop and ask God to help you let go.
    • Ask God:
      • Please remove my need to control and protect me from my fears of vulnerability. Help me trust in Your power instead of my own strength.

3. Be Honest About Your Vulnerability

As a Type 8, vulnerability may feel like a weakness. However, honesty about your emotions—especially feelings of fear or insecurity—is essential for working Step 10. Talk to someone you trust about these emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable. Being open about your vulnerability helps you build deeper connections and maintain emotional health.

  • When Feeling Vulnerable: Reach out to someone you trust and share your deeper fears or concerns, even if it feels uncomfortable.
    • Say:
      • I’m feeling uncertain or afraid, and I want to talk through it instead of reacting with anger or control.

4. Address Resentments and Harm Caused by Your Anger

As a Type 8, your intensity can sometimes lead to resentment or harm, especially if your anger or control has caused conflicts with others. If this happens, ask God to remove your anger and resentment. Then, discuss the situation with someone you trust and make amends quickly to prevent the buildup of hostility.

  • When Anger Causes Harm: Reflect on whether your anger or desire for control has hurt others, and be willing to take responsibility.
    • Pray:
      • God, please remove my resentment and help me make amends for any harm I’ve caused through anger or control.

5. Discuss Your Resentments and Anger with Someone You Trust

Being open about your struggles with anger or control can be difficult for a Type 8, as it may feel like admitting weakness. However, discussing these issues with someone you trust allows you to gain a clearer perspective and keeps you accountable in your recovery.

  • Get Perspective: Share your feelings of anger, control, or resentment with someone who can offer support and help you see the situation more clearly.
    • Ask them:
      • Am I reacting from a place of fear or anger? Can you help me understand whether my response is justified or driven by control?

6. Make Amends for Any Harm Caused by Your Intensity

Your intense personality may lead to conflicts or hurt feelings, especially if others feel overwhelmed by your directness or assertiveness. If your actions have caused harm, take responsibility and make amends as soon as possible. This practice allows you to rebuild trust and foster healthier, more balanced relationships.

  • Amends Practice: If your intensity has caused harm, acknowledge it and make amends quickly, showing humility and openness.
    • Say:
      • I realize my reaction may have been too strong or overbearing. I’m sorry for any harm I’ve caused, and I’m committed to working on this.

7. Turn Your Focus to Helping Others from a Place of Strength, Not Control

Once you’ve addressed any resentment, fear, or harm caused, shift your focus to helping others. As a Type 8, you have a natural desire to protect and empower those around you. However, make sure your help comes from a place of compassion and love, rather than a need to control or dominate the situation.

  • Focus on Empowering Others: Use your strength to support and uplift others, rather than trying to control their outcomes.
    • Ask yourself:
      • How can I help someone today in a way that empowers them without controlling or dominating the situation?

Summary

For Enneagram Type 8, working Step 10 in Overeaters Anonymous means recognizing when your desire for control or intensity is rooted in fear or vulnerability. By turning to God for help in releasing anger and resentment, and being open with trusted individuals about your struggles, you can maintain emotional balance and healthier relationships. Making amends when your actions have caused harm is key, as is shifting your focus to helping others from a place of love and compassion, rather than control.

This practice will allow you to grow spiritually, stay connected to your Higher Power, and use your strength to serve others in a way that fosters empowerment rather than domination.