Type 2 (The Helper) and Step Three of Overeaters Anonymous:
Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
For Enneagram Type 2 (The Helper), Step Three in Overeaters Anonymous involves letting go of their need to feel indispensable to others and learning to trust that they are worthy of love and care without having to constantly give and help. Type 2s have a strong drive to earn love through service and attention, which can sometimes lead to self-neglect and unhealthy relationships with food. Step Three asks them to trust that their Higher Power can care for them, and that they don’t need to rely on external validation to feel secure and loved.
Here’s how a Type 2 can work Step Three in Overeaters Anonymous:
- Release the Need to Earn Love:
- Type 2s often seek love and validation by constantly giving to others, which can lead to overextending themselves and turning to food for comfort when they feel depleted. Step Three invites them to turn their need for love and approval over to a Higher Power, trusting that they are already loved and valued without having to prove their worth through constant giving.
- This step helps Type 2s release their fear of being unlovable and trust in a source of unconditional love.
Reflection question: “How has my desire to earn love through helping others led to self-neglect, and how can I trust that my Higher Power loves me just as I am?”
- Trust That Their Needs Matter Too:
- Type 2s tend to focus on meeting the needs of others while ignoring or minimizing their own needs. They may use food to fill the emotional void that comes from this self-neglect. Step Three encourages Type 2s to trust that their Higher Power will take care of them, and that it’s okay to prioritize their own well-being.
- This step is about believing that their needs are valid and important, and trusting that they can rely on a Higher Power to help meet them.
Reflection question: “How can I begin to trust that my needs are just as important as others’ and that my Higher Power will care for me if I take care of myself?”
- Let Go of Control Over Others’ Happiness:
- Type 2s often feel responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, which can lead to emotional burnout and using food to cope with the stress of trying to please everyone. Step Three is about turning over that responsibility to a Higher Power, realizing that they are not responsible for making everyone else happy.
- By surrendering this control, Type 2s can free themselves from the pressure of constantly managing others’ emotions and trust that a Higher Power is guiding everyone.
Reflection question: “How can I let go of the belief that I am responsible for others’ happiness and trust that my Higher Power is in control?”
- Embrace Self-Love Through Surrender:
- Type 2s often struggle with self-love, feeling that they need to help others in order to be worthy of love themselves. Step Three encourages them to surrender this belief and trust that their Higher Power loves them unconditionally. This can help Type 2s develop a healthier relationship with themselves, which can lead to more balanced eating habits.
- Turning their will over to a Higher Power can help Type 2s see that they are worthy of care and love, even when they aren’t constantly giving to others.
Reflection question: “How can I trust that my Higher Power loves me, even when I’m not focused on helping others, and how can that belief help me practice self-love?”
- Surrender the Fear of Rejection:
- Type 2s often fear rejection or abandonment if they aren’t useful or helpful. This can lead them to overextend themselves and use food to soothe their fear of being unloved or unneeded. Step Three invites Type 2s to turn this fear over to their Higher Power and trust that they are loved and accepted, regardless of their actions.
- By surrendering this fear, Type 2s can find peace and security in their Higher Power’s love, rather than seeking it through external validation.
Reflection question: “How has my fear of being rejected or abandoned led to unhealthy behaviors with food, and how can I trust that my Higher Power will never reject me?”
Summary:
For a Type 2, Step Three is about surrendering the need to earn love and validation through constant helping, and instead trusting in a Higher Power to provide unconditional love and care. By releasing their sense of responsibility for others’ happiness and embracing self-love, Type 2s can develop healthier boundaries and let go of using food as a way to cope with emotional depletion. This step helps Type 2s turn their will and lives over to a Higher Power, trusting that they are worthy of love and care without having to prove it through their actions.