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GOING DEEPER: TYPE 9 & STEP FIVE
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For returning participants: This deeper pass of Step Five invites Type 9s to share not only what happened, but the places they went quiet, “checked out,” or disappeared to keep the peace. This is not about shame — it is about gentle truth that helps you come home to yourself, restore connection with God, and practice honest peace instead of false peace.
Safety & care: Agree with your sponsor on pauses, prayer, and time-outs. You may stop at any time. This is honesty with compassion.
1) From Confession to Communion
Aim: Move beyond listing wrongs to revealing what you avoided saying, feeling, or wanting. Share the tender truth beneath the “I’m fine,” and the peace-keeping strategy you used (going along, numbing, delaying, disappearing).
- Deepening prompts:
- What was I afraid would happen if I spoke up?
- Where did I “go away from myself” to keep things calm?
- What truth about my needs feels safe to say out loud now?
- Two-sentence share (template):
“When I [behavior], I was trying to keep [peace/connection/safety]. It cost [impact]. I am willing to practice [new way] with God’s help.”
2) Somatic Honesty — Let the Body Tell the Truth
Aim: Notice where you go numb, heavy, or “blank.” Let Step Five be felt, not just spoken.
- 1-minute check-in: Throat, chest, belly — where do you feel shut down or sleepy?
Inhale: “I am here.” Exhale: “I come back to myself.” - Share the body cue with your sponsor:
“As I say this, I feel it in my ____.” Naming it brings you back into presence.
3) Exact Nature = Pattern + Disconnection Strategy
Aim: Name the pattern and the strategy you used to avoid conflict or intensity. This brings compassion and responsibility together.
- Add this mini-grid to a few key shares:
- Trigger (tension, disagreement, feeling pressured, fear of conflict)
- Disconnection Strategy (go along, shut down, delay, numb, disappear)
- Impact (on honesty, intimacy, follow-through, self-respect)
- What God Offers Now (courage, voice, steady presence, true peace)
- Reflection:
What did I avoid saying or doing, and what would staying present with God look like next time?
4) Sponsor Dialogue That Supports Your Voice
Aim: Practice being honest without apologizing for existing.
- You say: “Please help me notice where I minimized myself or avoided conflict.”
- Sponsor says: “Would you be willing to name what you wanted there?”
- Your response: “Thank you. I will practice [one clear sentence / one small boundary] this week.”
5) Gentle Truth Practice — One Honest Sentence
Aim: Build tolerance for truth without escalation.
- Practice one sentence you can say calmly: “What I actually feel is ____.”
- Or: “What I need is ____.”
- Or: “I’m not available for ____.”
6) Gentle Bridge to Steps 6–9
- Willingness seed (6–7): Which avoidance or numbing pattern am I most willing to let God right-size?
- Amends readiness (8–9): Where has my silence, delay, or “going along” impacted others?
Summary of Going Deeper:
This deeper pass of Step Five invites Type 9s to move from peace-keeping to truth-telling with calm. By naming the ways you disappear from yourself to avoid conflict, you open the door to true peace — the kind that includes your voice, your needs, and your presence. With God’s help, you can stay connected without losing yourself.
If this feels too deep right now, that’s okay.