Enneagram Type 7: Step 4 – Surrender School

STEP 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Resentment Inventory

For Type 7s, resentment often stems from feeling restricted, controlled, or deprived of experiences. They may resent people or circumstances that they perceive as limiting their freedom or fun. Their resentment is fueled by their desire to avoid pain or discomfort, often through seeking constant stimulation or opportunities.

Resentment Launch Questions:

Who do I resent for making me feel restricted or limited?
Where do I avoid responsibilities or commitments, leading to resentment when others hold me accountable?
How do I react when life feels dull, and who or what do I blame for it?
Where have I overcommitted to avoid missing out, only to feel overwhelmed and resentful?

Create your own Resentment Form: Click here to download a blank Resentment form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Resentment Form below.

Example Resentment Form

Who/What I Resent	Why I Resent Them	How It Affects Me (Self-Esteem, Pride, Relationships)	My Part in It
My partner	They ask me to focus on responsibilities instead of fun plans.	I feel frustrated and trapped.	I avoid discussing responsibilities and overcommit to distractions.
My boss	They expect me to stick to routines and deadlines.	I feel confined and unmotivated.	I don’t communicate my need for creative freedom.
A friend	They criticize me for being unreliable or not following through.	I feel judged and unappreciated.	I overpromise and don’t follow through on commitments.
My parents	They emphasized discipline over spontaneity growing up.	I feel resentful and rebellious toward structure.	I haven’t let go of the past and continue to resist rules.
My coworker	They expect me to handle serious tasks without flexibility.	I feel pressured and restricted.	I avoid expressing my preferences and assume they won’t compromise.
A recovery group member	They seem more disciplined and committed than I am.	I feel judged and inadequate.	I compare myself to them instead of focusing on my progress.
Myself	I procrastinate on important tasks in favor of instant gratification.	I feel stressed and disappointed in myself.	I avoid facing discomfort and prioritize distractions over growth.
A sibling	They judge me for being too impulsive or carefree.	I feel criticized and misunderstood.	I don’t acknowledge the impact of my actions on others.
Society	It expects conformity and seriousness, which feels limiting to me.	I feel alienated and resist authority.	I focus on what I dislike instead of finding ways to express myself within the system.

Fear Inventory

Type 7s fear being trapped in pain, boredom, or limitations. This fear drives their avoidance of difficult emotions or situations and their pursuit of pleasure, experiences, and freedom. They must face the fear that they can handle discomfort and that true joy comes from balance, not excess.

Fear Launch Questions:

What fears about pain or limitation dominate my thoughts and actions?
How does my fear of boredom or discomfort lead me to overcommit or overindulge?
Where do I avoid facing difficult emotions, and how does that affect my recovery?
How does my desire for freedom lead me to avoid responsibilities or commitments?

Create your own Fear Form: Click here to download a blank Fear Form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Fear Form below.

Example Fear Form

Fear	What I Do In Response	How What I Do Makes Me Feel	How What I Do Affects Others	What Would GOD Have Me Be
Fear of being trapped	I avoid commitment, jump between activities, and overschedule myself.	I feel restless, scattered, and anxious.	Others feel I’m unreliable, flaky, and unavailable.	Present and committed, trusting in God’s guidance.
Fear of missing out	I seek constant stimulation, avoid difficult emotions, and overindulge.	I feel anxious, scattered, and unfulfilled.	Others feel I’m distracted, impulsive, and unreliable.	Content in the present, trusting God’s timing.
Fear of pain	I avoid difficult emotions, rationalize problems, and seek distractions.	I feel anxious, shallow, and unfulfilled.	Others feel I’m dismissive, insensitive, and unavailable.	Brave in facing challenges, trusting in God’s comfort.
Fear of boredom	I seek constant novelty, avoid routine, and overcommit myself.	I feel restless, scattered, and unfulfilled.	Others feel I’m unreliable, flaky, and distracted.	Content in the present, finding joy in simplicity.
Fear of limitation	I avoid boundaries, overextend myself, and resist structure.	I feel anxious, overwhelmed, and scattered.	Others feel I’m unreliable, irresponsible, and unavailable.	Responsible and focused, trusting in God’s provision.
Fear of emotional discomfort	I avoid difficult conversations, rationalize problems, and seek distractions.	I feel anxious, shallow, and avoidant.	Others feel I’m dismissive, insensitive, and unavailable.	Brave in facing challenges, trusting in God’s comfort.
Fear of being ordinary	I seek constant novelty, exaggerate experiences, and avoid routine.	I feel restless, unfulfilled, and anxious.	Others feel I’m inauthentic, unreliable, and distracted.	Content in my unique journey, trusting in God’s plan.
Fear of responsibility	I avoid commitments, delegate tasks, and minimize problems.	I feel irresponsible, anxious, and overwhelmed.	Others feel I’m unreliable, irresponsible, and unavailable.	Responsible and focused, trusting in God’s provision.
Fear of negative emotions	I avoid sadness, anger, and grief, and rationalize problems.	I feel shallow, disconnected, and anxious.	Others feel I’m dismissive, insensitive, and unavailable.	Brave in facing all emotions, trusting in God’s comfort.

Harms Inventory

Type 7s may inadvertently harm others by avoiding responsibility, overcommitting, or focusing on their own desires. Their tendency to avoid discomfort or restrictiveness can create strain in relationships and prevent meaningful growth.

Harm Launch Questions:

How have I harmed others by avoiding responsibility or overcommitting?
Where have I prioritized my desires over the needs of others?
How has my fear of pain or discomfort caused harm in my relationships?
Where have I failed to show up for others because I was distracted by my pursuits?

Create your own Harm Form: Click here to download a blank Harm Form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Harm Form below.

Example Harm Form

Who I Harmed	What I Did	How I Harmed Them (or Myself)	What I Should Have Done Instead
My partner	Focused on my plans and fun activities instead of their needs.	Made them feel unimportant and disconnected.	Balanced my desires with empathy and consideration for them.
A friend	Overcommitted to plans and didn’t follow through.	Hurt their trust and damaged the friendship.	Honored my commitments and communicated honestly.
My coworker	Procrastinated on shared tasks, causing delays.	Created stress and frustration in the team.	Completed tasks responsibly and on time.
My parents	Dismissed their concerns about my impulsive decisions.	Created tension and a sense of disconnection.	Listened with respect and balanced their input with my goals.
A recovery group member	Minimized serious issues by focusing on superficial solutions.	Missed opportunities for deeper connection and support.	Engaged authentically and supported them with empathy.
Myself	Ignored my emotional needs by focusing on distractions.	Created stress and emotional stagnation.	Faced my feelings with courage and sought God’s guidance.
My sibling	Didn’t show up for them during a difficult time.	Made them feel unsupported and hurt.	Prioritized their needs and offered my presence.
My community	Avoided committing to meaningful contributions.	Missed opportunities to connect and make a difference.	Engaged with intention and consistency.
My partner	Used charm to avoid serious discussions or accountability.	Created mistrust and emotional distance.	Addressed issues honestly and openly with them.

Congratulations you have completed Step 4!

Summary:

For an Enneagram Type 7 working Step 4, the key is to uncover how their fear of discomfort and limitation drives much of their behavior. By reflecting on resentments, fears, harms, and defects of character, they can gain insight into how avoidance, over commitment, and distraction affect their relationships and recovery. This inventory helps Type 7s confront these patterns and move toward greater presence, balance, and trust in God’s provision and guidance.