Enneagram Type 6: Step 4 – Surrender School

STEP 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Resentment Inventory

For Type 6s, resentment often stems from feeling abandoned, unsupported, or misled. They may resent people, systems, or institutions that they believe have failed them or caused harm. Their mistrust of others and authority, combined with their need for safety, often drives their resentments.

Resentment Launch Questions:

Who do I resent for making me feel unsafe or unsupported?
What situations cause me to feel anxiety or fear, leading to resentment?
How do I react when I feel abandoned or betrayed by people or systems I trust?
How does my fear of being deceived show up in my relationships with others?

Create your own Resentment Form: Click here to download a blank Resentment Form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Resentment Form below.

Example Resentment Form

Who/What I Resent	Why I Resent Them	How It Affects Me (Self-Esteem, Pride, Relationships)	My Part in It
My boss	Not giving clear instructions, making me feel uncertain and anxious.	I feel overwhelmed and fearful of failure.	I didn’t ask for clarification, fearing they would judge me as incompetent.
My partner	Not being there for me when I was anxious.	It causes me to feel unsafe and abandoned.	I didn’t express my needs for support, fearing I would seem weak.
My parents	Not providing enough guidance when I was younger.	I feel unsure of myself and struggle with self-doubt.	I haven’t let go of old fears and blame them for my insecurities.
The government	Failing to provide security and stability.	It leaves me feeling distrustful and fearful of the future.	I avoid getting involved, preferring to stay on the sidelines and complain.
A coworker	Failing to complete tasks, leaving me exposed to criticism.	I feel anxious and unsupported at work.	I avoided addressing the issue directly and relied on others to intervene.
A friend	They didn’t defend me when I needed support.	I feel betrayed and question the friendship.	I didn’t communicate how their actions made me feel.
My recovery sponsor	Not validating my fears or providing reassurance.	I feel insecure in my recovery journey.	I placed too much reliance on their approval.
A religious leader	They didn’t provide clear spiritual guidance.	I feel lost and unsupported in my spiritual journey.	I relied too much on them instead of seeking God’s direction.
My sibling	Didn’t back me up during a family dispute.	I feel betrayed and unsupported.	I didn’t explain why their support was important to me.

Fear Inventory

Type 6s are driven by anxiety and fear. They constantly scan for potential threats and often focus on worst-case scenarios. Their fears often revolve around not having enough support, guidance, or certainty in their lives.

Fear Launch Questions:

What fears dominate my thoughts and actions?
How do I project my fear of danger onto others or situations?
How does fear of being unsupported show up in my relationships?
Where do I avoid taking risks because of my fear of failure or rejection?

Create your own Fear Form: Click here to download a blank Fear Form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Fear Form below.

Example Fear Form

Fear	What I Do In Response	How What I Do Makes Me Feel	How What I Do Affects Others	What Would GOD Have Me Be
Fear of failure	I procrastinate, over-prepare, and seek constant reassurance to avoid mistakes.	I feel anxious, indecisive, and insecure.	Others feel frustrated, burdened, and slowed down by my hesitation.	Willing to take risks and learn from mistakes.
Fear of abandonment	I become clingy, overly dependent, and test relationships to ensure loyalty.	I feel anxious, insecure, and dependent.	Others feel pressured, smothered, and distrusted.	Secure in myself and my relationships.
Fear of betrayal	I avoid vulnerability, become suspicious, and test others’ loyalty.	I feel distant, guarded, and anxious.	Others feel mistrusted, unsupported, and distanced.	Trusting in healthy connections while setting boundaries.
Fear of authority figures	I resist guidance, question authority, and become rebellious or overly compliant.	I feel tense, distrustful, and anxious.	Others feel I’m uncooperative, overly critical, or unpredictable.	Open to respectful guidance and collaboration.
Fear of uncertainty	I overanalyze, seek constant reassurance, and struggle with decision-making.	I feel paralyzed, indecisive, and anxious.	Others feel confused, frustrated, and slowed down by my hesitation.	Trusting in God’s plan and taking action despite uncertainty.
Fear of being unsupported	I seek constant reassurance, test others’ loyalty, and become overly dependent.	I feel insecure, anxious, and dependent.	Others feel burdened, overwhelmed, and pressured.	Trusting in God’s support and self-reliance.
Fear of conflict	I avoid addressing issues, suppress emotions, and become passive-aggressive.	I feel resentful, disconnected, and anxious.	Others feel disconnected, frustrated, and confused.	Trusting God to guide me in addressing conflicts honestly.
Fear of being judged	I second-guess myself, seek constant approval, and become defensive.	I feel indecisive, insecure, and anxious.	Others feel uncertain about my reliability, and that I am defensive.	Trusting God’s validation over others’ opinions.
Fear of being alone	I cling to unhealthy relationships, seek constant reassurance, and avoid independence.	I feel dependent, anxious, and insecure.	Others feel pressured to constantly reassure me, and smothered.	Secure in my connection with God and myself.

Harm Inventory

Type 6s may inadvertently harm others by acting out of fear, doubt, or suspicion. They may project their anxiety onto others, causing strain in relationships, or they may withdraw when they feel unsafe, leaving others feeling abandoned or unsupported.

Harm Launch Questions:

How have I harmed others by projecting my fears or doubts onto them?
Where have I created distance in relationships by withdrawing or being overly cautious?
How has my fear of authority or commitment caused harm in work or personal relationships?
Where have I overburdened others by relying too much on their support?

Create your own Harm Form: Click here to download a blank Harm Form.

You can use some of these examples: Click here to download the Example Harm Form below.

Example Harm Form

Who I Harmed	What I Did	How I Harmed Them (or Myself)	What I Should Have Done Instead
My partner	Questioned their loyalty and sought constant reassurance.	Made them feel distrusted and drained.	Trusted in their commitment and expressed gratitude instead.
My coworker	Doubted their abilities and resisted their decisions.	Created tension and undermined collaboration.	Addressed concerns respectfully and trusted their judgment.
My friend	Withdrew when I felt unsupported, rather than communicating.	Made them feel abandoned and unimportant.	Shared my feelings openly instead of assuming they wouldn’t understand.
My family	Relied too heavily on their support for decision-making.	Overwhelmed them, causing frustration and resentment.	Trusted my own judgment and thanked them for their help.
A mentor	Questioned their advice out of mistrust.	Undermined their guidance and hurt the relationship.	Accepted their guidance while sharing my concerns calmly.
My therapist	Avoided being vulnerable because I didn’t trust their approach.	Limited the effectiveness of therapy and created distance.	Trusted their expertise and shared my concerns.
Myself	Let fear paralyze me from taking opportunities.	Limited my growth and created self-doubt.	Took action despite fear, trusting God’s guidance.
My sibling	Pulled away in times of conflict instead of addressing it.	Made them feel isolated and confused.	Communicated calmly and directly about my concerns.
A team member	Micromanaged tasks, fearing they’d fail.	Made them feel untrusted and undervalued.	Delegated tasks with trust and supported as needed.

Congratulations you have completed Step 4!

Summary:

For an Enneagram Type 6 working Step 4, the key is to recognize how fear and anxiety drive much of their behavior. By reflecting on resentments, fears, harms, and defects of character, Type 6s can confront their tendency to mistrust others, over-depend on support, and avoid risks. This inventory allows them to see how these patterns harm their relationships and personal growth, encouraging them to develop more trust in themselves, others, and God, and to take measured risks without letting fear dictate their actions.