---

Understanding and Preparing for Step 6

• Read the entire directions for Step 6.
• Understand the Purpose of Step 6:

This step is not about removing your defects yourself—it’s about becoming willing to let God remove them. It’s okay to feel resistance; willingness grows as you observe and reflect on how these defenses affect your life.

• Read the following Passage from the Alcoholics Anonymous: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (pages 66 and 67):

What we must recognize now is that we exult in some of our defects. We really love them. Who, for example doesn’t like to feel just a little superior to the next fellow, or even quite a lot superior? Isn’t it true that we like to let greed masquerade as ambition? To think of liking lust seems impossible. But how many men and women speak love with their lips, and believe what they say, so they can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds? And even while staying within conventional bounds, many people have to admit their imaginary sex excursions are apt to be all dressed up as dreams of romance. 

 

Self-righteous anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority. Gossip[ barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize, we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.

 

When gluttony is less than ruinous, we have a mild word for that, too; we call it “taking our comfort.” We live in a world riddled with envy. To a greater or less degree, everybody is infected with it. From this defect we must surely get a warped yet definite satisfaction. Else why would we consume such great amounts of time wishing for what we have not, rather than working for it, or angrily looking for attributes we shall never have, instead of adjusting to the fact and accepting it? And how often we work hard with no better motive than to be secure and slothful later on—only we call that retiring. Consider too, our talents for procrastination, which is really sloth in five syllables. Nearly anyone could submit a good list of such defects as these, and few of us would seriously think of giving them up, at least until they cause us excessive misery.

• Trust the Process: Remember, just as you couldn’t overcome food addiction without God’s help, you cannot eliminate these defenses alone. Step 6 prepares your heart and mind for working step 7 where you will invite God to work in you.
• Read the example Defenses Readiness Assessment (below) and print out some blank copies of the Defenses Readiness Assessment so that you can explore the benefits and costs of hanging onto your own defenses.

 

 

---

Completing your Defenses Readiness Assessment

• Review each of the Defenses you listed in your Step 5 Defense Inventory. List each of them in the leftmost column of the Defenses Readiness Assessment. You can always add more defenses as needed.
• For Each Defense: Answer each questions in the table.
  1. How does it help you? (How has this served me in the past?)
  2. How do you resist letting go? (What fears make it hard to let go?)
  3. How will you benefit from letting go? (What might life look like without this defense?)
  4. What opposite behavior can you take to begin to let go of this defense?
  5. Check your Willingness to live without it:
     • Ask yourself, “Am I really willing to live without this character defect and what it does for me?”
     • Determine if there are any steps you can take to increase your willingness.
     • Rate your readiness to let this defense go, from 1 (not ready) to 5 (entirely ready). Put your answer in the table.

 

 

Example Defenses Readiness Assessment – Type 3

 

Character Defense	How does it help you?	How do I resist letting go?	How will I benefit from letting go?	Opposite Behavior	Willingness (1-5)
Overachievement	Drives you to accomplish goals and gain external validation.	Fear of losing status and recognition.	Experience inner peace and self-acceptance beyond accomplishments.	I can value myself for who I am, not just for what I achieve.	3
Image-consciousness	Helps you fit into various social contexts and be admired.	Fear of being seen as unworthy or inadequate.	Develop authentic relationships based on your true self.	I can show up as my true self, knowing I am worthy without needing external validation.	4
Neglecting personal needs	Allows you to focus on tasks and goals without distraction.	Belief that personal needs are less important than success.	Achieve a healthier work-life balance and well-being.	I can prioritize my well-being, recognizing that my needs matter as much as my goals.	3
Emotional detachment	Prevents vulnerability and maintains a composed image.	Fear of emotions interfering with performance.	Enhance emotional intelligence and deeper connections.	I can allow myself to feel and express emotions without fear of losing control or credibility.	2
Manipulation	Enables you to influence situations to achieve desired outcomes.	Fear of losing control or not achieving goals.	Foster trust and integrity in your relationships.	I can be honest and direct, trusting that authenticity leads to better outcomes than control.	3
Perfectionism	Ensures high standards and excellence in your work.	Fear of failure or producing subpar results.	Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities and reduce stress.	I can strive for excellence while allowing myself to be human and imperfect.	4
Fear of vulnerability	Protects you from potential criticism or rejection.	Belief that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness.	Build genuine connections and personal growth.	I can share my true feelings, trusting that vulnerability leads to stronger connections.	2
Competition	Motivates you to excel and outperform others.	Fear of being surpassed or deemed inferior.	Collaborate effectively and appreciate others’ strengths.	I can celebrate others’ successes and recognize that collaboration benefits everyone.	3
Fear of failure	Drives you to meticulously plan and execute tasks.	Anxiety about not meeting expectations.	Embrace resilience and learn from setbacks.	I can take risks, knowing that failure is part of growth and not a reflection of my worth.	3

 

---

 

Seek Support and Guidance

• Share your table with your sponsor or trusted advisor to explore how overachievement, image-consciousness, and the fear of failure have shaped your identity and your willingness to let go of these patterns. Discuss how these defenses have influenced your relationships and self-worth.
• Engage in journaling, meditation, or prayer to reflect on how your drive for success and external validation has affected your emotional well-being. Ask your Higher Power for clarity in redefining success in a way that honors your authentic self.
• Listen to Surrender School’s Step 6 Meditation.
• Develop affirmations such as: *”I am valued for who I am, not just for what I achieve,”* or *”My worth is inherent, not determined by success or recognition.”* Use these to replace self-judgment with self-acceptance.
• Check out Surrender School’s meditations, office hours, and other offerings to find support in embracing authenticity and self-worth beyond accomplishments.

 

---

Summary

Remember to practice self-compassion and acknowledge that change is challenging. Be kind to yourself as you work through your fears and anxieties. For Type 3s, working Step 6 involves recognizing and becoming willing to release defects related to achievement, image-consciousness, and workaholism. This step requires Type 3s to reflect on the impact of these patterns, assess their readiness for change, and seek support. By cultivating trust in the recovery process and practicing self-compassion, Type 3s can work toward greater authenticity and balance in their lives.