Step 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defect of character.”
For Enneagram Type 1, Step 6 is about preparing to release perfectionism, self-criticism, and judgmental tendencies. Type 1s frequently rely on these defenses to feel in control and maintain high standards. In this step, they examine the impact of these patterns, reflect on their origins, and become willing to let them go. This requires humility, trust in a Higher Power, and a commitment to embrace a more compassionate and balanced perspective.
Understanding and Preparing for Step 6
- Read the entire directions for Step 6, this whole webpage.
- Understand the Purpose of Step 6:
This step is not about removing your defenses yourself—it’s about becoming willing to let God remove them. It’s okay to feel resistance; willingness grows as you observe and reflect on how these defenses affect your life.
Ego defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies used by the ego to protect itself from overwhelming emotions, to maintain psychological balance. These mechanisms help individuals cope with stress, anxiety, trauma, and conflict, playing a crucial role in maintaining mental health.
- Trust the Process: Remember, just as you couldn’t overcome food addiction without God’s help, you cannot eliminate these defenses alone. Step 6 prepares your heart and mind for working step 7 where you will invite God to work in you.
- Print as many copies of the Step 6 Forms as needed:
- Defense Analysis Form: Write how each defense helps you, what it costs you, and how your life could improve without it.
- Readiness Assessment Form: Identify the actions needed (opposite behaviors) to let go of each defense and becoming willing to take those actions.
Completing your Defense Analysis
- Review each of the defenses you listed in your Step 5 Defense Inventory. List each of them in the leftmost column of the Defense Analysis form. You can always add more defenses as needed.
- For Each Defense: answer each question in the Defense Analysis form.
- How does your Ego think it helps you? (How has this served you in the past?)
- What does it cost you? (Look at the harms columns in your Step 5 Defense Inventory.)
- What do you fear about letting it go?
- How will you benefit from letting it go? (What life looks like without this defense.)
Example Defense Analysis – Type 1
| Character Defense | How does your Ego think it helps you? | What does it cost you? | What do you fear about letting it go? | How will you benefit from letting go? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Perfectionism | Ensures tasks are done correctly and meet high standards. | I feel anxious and never satisfied. Others feel criticized or not good enough. | Fear of mediocrity or being perceived as incompetent. | Experience greater peace and flexibility. |
| Self-Righteousness | Provides a sense of moral superiority and clarity. | I feel isolated and tense. Others feel judged or invalidated. | Fear of being wrong or losing moral authority. | Foster humility and open-mindedness. |
| Harsh Self-Criticism | Motivates self-improvement and adherence to standards. | I feel discouraged and inadequate. Others feel uncomfortable when I self-deprecate. | Fear of complacency or self-acceptance leading to failure. | Develop self-compassion and resilience. |
| Over-Control | Maintains order and predictability in tasks and environments. | I feel tense and burdened. Others feel micromanaged or distrusted. | Fear of chaos or things going wrong without control. | Embrace spontaneity and trust in others. |
| Intolerance | Protects from engaging with differing or challenging viewpoints. | I feel frustrated and rigid. Others feel dismissed or not heard. | Fear of being influenced or compromising principles. | Enhance empathy and broaden perspectives. |
| Impatience | Encourages efficiency and timely completion of tasks. | I feel irritable and rushed. Others feel pressured or devalued. | Fear of wasting time or falling behind. | Cultivate patience and improve relationships. |
| Rigidity | Provides structure and consistency in actions and beliefs. | I feel inflexible and resistant to change. Others feel constrained or stifled. | Fear of uncertainty or being unprepared. | Adapt to change and foster innovation. |
| Resentment | Highlights perceived injustices or unmet expectations. | I feel bitter and stuck in the past. Others feel blamed or misunderstood. | Fear of being taken advantage of or unrecognized. | Release grudges and experience emotional freedom. |
| Fear of Failure | Drives thoroughness and avoidance of mistakes. | I feel anxious and avoid risks. Others feel I’m overly cautious or resistant to new ideas. | Fear of inadequacy or judgment from others. | Embrace learning opportunities and personal growth. |
Completing your Readiness Assessment
- In Column 1, list the same defenses from the Defense Analysis form(s) that you just completed.
- For each defense, fill in the Opposite Behavior and Willingness columns.
- Opposite Behavior: What opposite behavior can you take to begin to let go of this defense?
- Check your willingness to live without it:
- Ask yourself, am I really willing to live without this character defense and what it does for me?
- Determine if there are any steps you can take to increase your willingness.
- Rate your readiness to let this defense go, from 1 (not ready) to 5 (entirely ready). Put your answer in the table.
Example Readiness Assessment – Type 1
| Character Defense | Opposite Behavior | Willingness (1–5) |
|---|---|---|
| Perfectionism | I can embrace progress over perfection and recognize that mistakes are opportunities for learning rather than proof of failure. | 3 |
| Self-Righteousness | I can stay open to differing perspectives and recognize that I don’t have to be right to be valuable. | 2 |
| Harsh Self-Criticism | I can speak to myself with kindness and encouragement, recognizing that self-worth is not tied to performance. | 3 |
| Over-Control | I can release my grip and trust that things will unfold as they should, even if they don’t go exactly as planned. | 4 |
| Intolerance | I can listen with curiosity and respect, allowing for new insights without feeling threatened. | 2 |
| Impatience | I can slow down, breathe, and trust that everything is unfolding at the right pace. | 2 |
| Rigidity | I can be flexible and open to new possibilities, trusting that change brings growth. | 3.5 |
| Resentment | I can let go of grudges and recognize that holding onto resentment only harms me. | 4 |
| Fear of Failure | I can take risks and try new things without fear, knowing that failure is a stepping stone to growth. | 3 |
Seek Support and Guidance
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- Share your table with your sponsor or kind observer to explore how reaction formation and repression have influenced your life and your willingness to release these patterns.
- Engage in journaling, meditation, or prayer to reflect on how these defense mechanisms have affected your sense of peace and to seek guidance from your Higher Power.
- Listen to Surrender School’s Step 6 Meditation.
- Develop affirmations such as: “I am worthy even when I make mistakes,” or “I embrace both my strengths and weaknesses,” to replace self-criticism with compassion.
- Check out Surrender School’s meditations, office hours, and other offerings to find support and encouragement from others on a similar journey.
Summary
Remember to practice self-compassion and acknowledge that change is challenging. Be kind to yourself as you work through your fears and anxieties. For Type 1s, working Step 6 involves recognizing and becoming willing to release defects related to perfectionism, self-criticism, and judgment. This step requires Type 1s to reflect on the impact of these patterns, assess their readiness for change, and seek support. By cultivating trust in the recovery process and practicing self-compassion, Type 1s can work toward greater peace and balance in their lives.