STEP 6: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”
For Enneagram Type 6, Step 6 is about preparing to release the fears, doubts, and patterns of over-control and mistrust that have served as defenses against uncertainty and danger. Type 6s often rely on hyper-vigilance, anxiety, and external systems for security. In this step, they confront these defenses, recognize how they’ve both served and harmed them, and become willing to let them go. This requires courage, honesty, and trust in a Higher Power to guide them toward a freer and more peaceful way of living.
Understanding and Preparing for Step 6
- Read the entire directions for Step 6, this whole webpage.
- Understand the Purpose of Step 6:
This step is not about removing your defenses yourself—it’s about becoming willing to let God remove them. It’s okay to feel resistance; willingness grows as you observe and reflect on how these defenses affect your life.
Ego defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies used by the ego to protect itself from overwhelming emotions, to maintain psychological balance. These mechanisms help individuals cope with stress, anxiety, trauma, and conflict, playing a crucial role in maintaining mental health.
- Trust the Process: Remember, just as you couldn’t overcome food addiction without God’s help, you cannot eliminate these defenses alone. Step 6 prepares your heart and mind for working step 7 where you will invite God to work in you.
- Print as many copies of the Step 6 Forms as needed:
- Defense Analysis Form: Write how each defense helps you, what it costs you, and how your life could improve without it.
- Readiness Assessment Form: Identify the actions needed (opposite behaviors) to let go of each defense and becoming willing to take those actions.
Completing your Defense Analysis
- Review each of the defenses you listed in your Step 5 Defense Inventory. List each of them in the leftmost column of the Defense Analysis form. You can always add more defenses as needed.
- For Each Defense: answer each question in the Defense Analysis form.
- How does your Ego think it helps you? (How has this served you in the past?)
- What does it cost you? (Look at the harms columns in your Step 5 Defense Inventory.)
- What do you fear about letting it go?
- How will you benefit from letting it go? (What life looks like without this defense.)
Example Defense Analysis – Type 6
| Character Defense |
How does your Ego think it helps you? |
What does it cost you? | What do you fear about letting it go? |
How will you benefit from letting it go? |
| Self-Doubt | Protects from failure by avoiding risks. | I feel stuck and anxious, unable to move forward. Others feel frustrated by my indecision or lack of confidence. | Fear of making mistakes and losing control. | Increases confidence and self-trust. |
| Mistrust (Fear) | Keeps me cautious and protected from betrayal. | I feel isolated and disconnected from others. Others feel misunderstood or unfairly judged. | Fear of vulnerability or being hurt again. | Builds healthier relationships and fosters trust. |
| Fear of Rejection | Encourages over-giving to avoid abandonment. | I feel insecure and overly dependent on others’ approval. Others feel pressured to constantly validate me. | Fear of losing connection and worth. | Frees me to express my authentic self without fear. |
| Over-Control | Provides safety by managing people and situations. | I feel exhausted and overly responsible. Others feel stifled and unable to contribute fully. | Fear of chaos or being seen as weak. | Reduces stress and encourages flexibility in relationships. |
| Hyper-Vigilance | Keeps me alert to potential threats or danger. | I feel exhausted and unable to relax. Others feel tense and unable to fully connect with me. | Fear of being unprepared or blindsided. | Reduces anxiety and allows for greater peace in the present moment. |
| Over-Reliance on Authority | Protects me from uncertainty and blame if things go wrong. | I feel self-doubt and overly dependent. Others feel pressured to see or do things my way. | Fear of letting others down or appearing selfish. | Encourages balance and allows others to grow through responsibility. |
| Withholding of Self | Protects from judgment or rejection by keeping thoughts and feelings private. | I feel alone, misunderstood, and guarded. Others feel confused, distant, and unsure how to connect with me. | Fear of emotional vulnerability and rejection. | Deepens intimacy and reduces isolation. |
| Catastrophizing | Prepares me for the worst by imagining worst-case scenarios. | I feel afraid, tense, and unable to rest. Others feel overwhelmed, shut out, and drained by my anxiety. | Fear of being caught off guard or unprepared. | Reduces unnecessary anxiety and builds faith in God’s plan. |
| Indecision – Overthinking | Helps avoid mistakes by delaying decisions and overanalyzing outcomes. | I feel stuck, unsure, and self-critical. Others feel impatient, untrusted, and pushed away. | Fear of failure or making the “wrong” choice. | Encourages action, reduces stress, and fosters confidence. |
| Rigid Adherence to Rules | Provides structure and safety through external systems or authority figures. | I feel rigid, disconnected, and anxious. Others feel judged, limited, and unable to be themselves. | Fear of uncertainty or trusting one’s own judgment. | Builds flexibility, fosters creativity, and strengthens reliance on God. |
Completing your Readiness Assessment
- In Column 1, list the same defenses from the Defense Analysis form(s) that you just completed.
- For each defense, fill in the Opposite Behavior and Willingness columns.
- Opposite Behavior: What opposite behavior can you take to begin to let go of this defense?
- Check your willingness to live without it:
- Ask yourself, am I really willing to live without this character defense and what it does for me?
- Determine if there are any steps you can take to increase your willingness.
- Rate your readiness to let this defense go, from 1 (not ready) to 5 (entirely ready). Put your answer in the table.
Example Readiness Assessment – Type 6
| Character Defense | Opposite Behavior | Willingness (1–5) |
|---|---|---|
| Self-Doubt | I can trust my own judgment and take action even when uncertainty is present. | 3 |
| Mistrust (Fear) | I can choose to trust wisely, knowing that not everyone will betray me. | 2 |
| Fear of Rejection | I can offer love and support without needing to prove my worth. | 4 |
| Over-Control | I can allow situations to unfold naturally and trust in God’s plan. | 3 |
| Hyper-Vigilance | I can stay present and respond to situations as they arise, rather than anticipating the worst. | 2 |
| Over-Responsibility | I can allow others to take responsibility for themselves without feeling guilty. | 3 |
| Withholding of Self | I can share my true thoughts and feelings, knowing that authenticity creates deeper connections. | 4 |
| Catastrophizing | I can acknowledge my fears without assuming the worst will always happen. | 4 |
| Indecision – Overthinking | I can trust my decisions and take action without overanalyzing every possibility. | 2 |
| Rigid Adherence to Rules | I can rely on my own wisdom and faith rather than rigidly following external rules. | 5 |
Seek Support and Guidance
- Share your table with your sponsor or kind observer to explore how anxiety, self-doubt, and the need for certainty have shaped your experience. Discuss how these defenses have influenced your relationships and decision-making.
- Engage in journaling, meditation, or prayer to reflect on how your tendency to seek external reassurance and overthink has affected your emotional well-being. Ask your Higher Power to help you develop trust in yourself and in the process of life.
- Listen to Surrender School’s Step 6 Meditation.
- Develop affirmations such as: *”I am safe in the present moment,”* or *”I trust that I have the strength to handle whatever comes my way.”* Use these to replace fear with faith.
- Check out Surrender School’s meditations, office hours, and other offerings to find support in cultivating inner security and confidence.
Summary:
Remember to practice self-compassion and acknowledge that change is challenging. Be kind to yourself as you work through your fears and anxieties. For Type 6s, working Step 6 involves recognizing and becoming willing to release defenses related to their fears, anxieties, and need for control. This step requires Type 6s to reflect on the impact of these patterns, assess their readiness for change, and seek support. By cultivating trust in the recovery process and practicing self-compassion, Type 6s can work towards overcoming their anxieties and embracing a more balanced approach to their recovery journey.