Enneagram Type 8: Step 4 – Surrender School

Enneagram Type 8 Inventory for Step 4 of 12-Step Recovery

Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger
Core Fear: Being controlled or vulnerable, being weak or powerless
Core Desire: To be independent, strong, and in control
Core Weakness: Lust (intensity and overemphasis on power and control)
Core Longing: “You will not be betrayed.”

1. Resentment Inventory

For Type 8s, resentment often arises from feeling controlled, oppressed, or disrespected. They may resent those who they perceive as trying to undermine their authority or limit their freedom. Their anger can be a way of asserting themselves and maintaining control.

Questions to ask:

Who do I resent for trying to control or limit my autonomy?
What situations make me feel powerless or disrespected, leading to resentment?
How do I react when others challenge my authority or question my decisions?
How does my need for control manifest in my relationships and interactions?
Where do I feel betrayed or let down by those I trusted to support my independence?
Who do I resent for not acknowledging my strength or authority?
How have I been aggressive or confrontational when I felt my power was threatened?
Where do I feel that my boundaries have been violated or disrespected?
How does my desire for control lead to conflicts or power struggles with others?

Resentment Inventory Table

Person I Resent	The Cause of My Resentment	How It Affects Me	My Part in It
My boss	They micromanage my work and undermine my authority.	I feel frustrated, disrespected, and like I have to assert my dominance.	I challenge their authority instead of discussing my needs openly.
My partner	They try to control decisions in our relationship.	I feel trapped, angry, and constantly in conflict with them.	I resist their attempts to collaborate, leading to power struggles.
A colleague	They question my decisions or undermine my expertise.	I feel undermined and defensive, leading to tension and conflict.	I react aggressively rather than addressing the issue calmly.
A family member	They impose their expectations or boundaries on me.	I feel resentful, restricted, and rebellious.	I resist their influence and assert my independence forcefully.
A friend	They criticize my choices or actions.	I feel judged, attacked, and defensive.	I become confrontational instead of considering their perspective.
A community leader	They enforce rules or regulations that I find restrictive.	I feel controlled, disempowered, and resistant.	I resist compliance and express anger towards their authority.
A neighbor	They invade my privacy or question my decisions.	I feel exposed, disrespected, and angry.	I react with hostility rather than setting clear boundaries.
Myself	I fail to meet my own high standards or feel constrained by circumstances.	I feel frustrated, defeated, and self-critical.	I push myself too hard and resist accepting limitations.
A system or institution	They restrict my freedom or fail to acknowledge my contributions.	I feel oppressed, dismissed, and disempowered.	I challenge the system rather than seeking constructive solutions.

2. Fear Inventory

For Type 8s, fear often revolves around losing control, being vulnerable, or being perceived as weak. This fear drives their assertive and confrontational behavior, as well as their need to remain in control of their environment and relationships.

Questions to ask:

What am I most afraid of losing control over in my life?
How does my fear of being weak or vulnerable affect my interactions with others?
Where do I avoid situations that might expose my vulnerabilities or weaknesses?
How does my fear of betrayal influence my trust in others and my relationships?
How do I react when I feel that my strength or authority is being questioned?
Where do I fear being controlled or manipulated by others?
How does my fear of being powerless drive me to assert my dominance or control?
How do I handle situations where I feel I might not be in control or in charge?
Where have I pushed people away due to my fear of being vulnerable?

Fear Inventory Table

Fear	How It Shows Up in My Life	How It Affects Me	My Part in It
Fear of losing control	I become overly aggressive or domineering in situations.	I feel isolated and struggle to collaborate effectively.	I try to dominate situations rather than share control.
Fear of vulnerability	I avoid opening up or expressing emotions.	I feel disconnected and struggle to form deep relationships.	I keep others at arm’s length to avoid vulnerability.
Fear of being weak	I push myself too hard and resist admitting when I need help.	I experience burnout and resentment from others who see me as unapproachable.	I avoid acknowledging my limits and expect others to be as strong.
Fear of betrayal	I struggle to trust others and often question their motives.	I feel suspicious and distant, leading to conflict.	I project my fears onto others, assuming betrayal where there may be none.
Fear of being controlled	I resist authority and challenge those who try to impose limits.	I create friction and struggle with authority figures.	I react defensively to perceived control or limitations.
Fear of being perceived as weak	I overcompensate by being aggressive or dominant.	I alienate myself from others and create unnecessary conflicts.	I struggle to balance strength with humility.
Fear of being manipulated	I become highly vigilant and suspicious of others’ intentions.	I feel distrustful and struggle to work collaboratively.	I impose my will and resist compromise.
Fear of losing power	I assert dominance in situations to maintain control.	I create power struggles and conflicts in relationships.	I become authoritarian to ensure my power remains intact.
Fear of not being in control	I micromanage and insist on having things done my way.	I feel overwhelmed and hinder others’ autonomy.	I refuse to delegate and trust others with responsibilities.

3. Harm Done Inventory

Type 8s may find it challenging to acknowledge the harm they’ve done due to their strong sense of self and desire to remain in control. However, recognizing and taking responsibility for their actions is crucial for their personal growth and recovery.

Questions to ask:

Where have I used my power or authority in a way that harmed others?
How have I been aggressive or confrontational, causing damage to relationships?
When have I pushed my own agenda at the expense of others’ feelings or needs?
Where have I been overbearing or dominating, not considering others’ perspectives?
How have I reacted harshly or unfairly when I felt my control was threatened?
Where have I imposed my will on others, leading to their resentment or alienation?
How has my need for control led to conflicts or power struggles with people close to me?
When have I been uncompromising or rigid, causing harm or distress to others?
How have I failed to respect others’ boundaries or autonomy?

Harm Done Inventory Table

Person I Harmed	What I Did	How It Affected Them	My Part in It
My partner	I was overly controlling and did not respect their autonomy.	They felt suffocated, unappreciated, and powerless.	I dominated decisions and didn’t consider their needs or opinions.
My child	I was too strict and didn’t allow them to express their own opinions.	They felt repressed, rebellious, and distanced from me.	I imposed my will and didn’t allow for their individuality.
My colleague	I used aggressive tactics to assert my ideas and control projects.	They felt disrespected, alienated, and hesitant to collaborate.	I didn’t value their input and forced my way on them.
A family member	I disregarded their boundaries and enforced my own rules.	They felt invaded, disrespected, and less connected to me.	I overstepped my role and didn’t acknowledge their autonomy.
A friend	I confronted them aggressively over disagreements.	They felt hurt, judged, and reluctant to continue the friendship.	I was forceful and didn’t handle conflicts constructively.
My team at work	I micromanaged and didn’t trust their abilities.	They felt demotivated, disempowered, and frustrated.	I imposed my control and didn’t allow them room to grow.
A community leader	I challenged their authority aggressively when I disagreed.	They felt disrespected and unable to address my concerns.	I was confrontational rather than seeking constructive dialogue.
A neighbor	I was rigid and demanding about shared responsibilities.	They felt burdened and frustrated by my expectations.	I didn’t negotiate or compromise on shared tasks.
Myself	I pushed myself too hard and didn’t acknowledge my limits.	I felt exhausted, defeated, and alienated from my own needs.	I demanded too much from myself and didn’t allow for self-care.

Summary

For Type 8s, working Step 4 involves a deep examination of how their need for control and fear of vulnerability have impacted their relationships and actions. By exploring their resentments, fears, and the harm they’ve caused, they can begin to understand how their intensity and assertiveness have affected their lives and those around them. This process helps Type 8s take responsibility for their actions, recognize their vulnerabilities, and find a healthier balance between strength and compassion.