Step Five: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
For Type 7s, Step Five can feel challenging as they often avoid discomfort and prefer to focus on positive, exciting possibilities. Sharing their wrongs may bring up fears of being trapped in negative emotions or judged for their impulsive actions. However, this step is a profound opportunity for Type 7s to embrace vulnerability, confront their avoidance of pain, and foster deeper connections with themselves and others. By admitting their wrongs, Type 7s can discover freedom from escapism and find lasting joy in authenticity and connection.
It’s natural to feel nervous about this step. You are not alone. By trusting the process, you’ll experience healing and freedom from patterns that no longer serve you. Sponsors guide us through Step Five by helping us uncover behaviors such as impulsiveness, avoidance of difficult emotions, and overindulgence, and how these behaviors impact our lives and relationships.
Preparing for Step 5
- Ask your Higher Power for the courage, honesty, and willingness this step requires.
- Read common Type 7 character defenses included in the list and leftmost column of the Example Defenses Inventory (below).
- Reflect on the work you have done in Steps 1-4, notice any defenses (also known as patterns of behavior that cause problems in our relationships and life). No need to write them down, just ask yourself which ones show up as your sponsor will help you create your own Defenses Inventory?
- Your sponsor will help you create your own Defenses Inventory when you share your Step 4.
- Send the Step 5 Guide for Sponsors to your sponsor trust that your sponsor will ensure that you get through Step 5 together and that your sponsor will hold all the information you share in confidence.
- Make an appointment with your sponsor to complete this step.
You can use some of these examples to create your own Defense Form.
Click here to download Defense Form Examples with blanks.
Type 7 – EXAMPLE DEFENSE FORM
Some common Type 7 defenses are: Denial, Excessive Planning, Fantasy, Frivolity, Gluttony, Hedonism, Idealization, Justification, Narcissism, Rationalization, Reframing, Restlessness, Self-Indulgence, Unrealistic Optimism, and Volatility.
| Defenses of Character | How It Shows Up in My Life | How It Harms Me | How It Harms Others |
|---|---|---|---|
| Impulsiveness | I make quick decisions without considering consequences. | I create chaos and regret impulsive choices. | Others feel frustrated or hurt by my unpredictability. |
| Avoidance | I distract myself to avoid uncomfortable emotions or situations. | I feel disconnected and overwhelmed by unresolved issues. | Others may feel I’m unavailable or dismissive. |
| Overindulgence | I overeat, overspend, or overcommit to avoid boredom or pain. | I feel out of control and dissatisfied. | Others may feel burdened or neglected. |
| Escapism | I pursue constant excitement to avoid confronting difficult emotions. | I feel ungrounded and disconnected from reality. | Others may feel I’m unreliable or superficial. |
| Difficulty committing | I avoid making decisions or sticking with plans. | I feel scattered and unfulfilled. | Others may feel frustrated or unsupported. |
| Superficial optimism | I downplay challenges to focus on the positive. | I avoid resolving deeper issues and feel disconnected. | Others may feel invalidated or dismissed. |
| Fear of limitation | I avoid situations where I might feel restricted or confined. | I miss opportunities for growth and connection. | Others may feel excluded or unimportant. |
| Minimizing pain | I ignore or downplay my emotions and challenges. | I feel unresolved pain and lack emotional growth. | Others may feel I’m distant or dismissive of their struggles. |
| Seeking distraction | I focus on external stimulation instead of my inner world. | I feel restless and disconnected from myself. | Others may feel neglected or unimportant in my life. |
Summary
For Type 7s, working Step 5 involves identifying how impulsiveness, avoidance, and escapism harm themselves and their relationships. By being honest, vulnerable, and open to feedback, Type 7s can develop deeper emotional connections and find balance in their lives. This step empowers them to embrace reality and trust their Higher Power for lasting peace and joy. Celebrate this vital step on your recovery journey—you are making meaningful progress!