Enneagram Type 6: Step 8

Enneagram Type 6: Working Step 8 in Overeaters Anonymous

Step 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

For Enneagram Type 6s, who are known for their loyalty, anxiety, and desire for security, working Step 8 in Overeaters Anonymous involves confronting their tendency to react to fear, uncertainty, and mistrust. Type 6s often form strong alliances with people they trust but may unintentionally cause harm through their need for reassurance, loyalty-testing behaviors, or excessive worry. In working Step 8, they need to reflect on how their need for safety has impacted others and how their behaviors stemming from fear or anxiety may have hurt their relationships. Becoming willing to make amends can help them break free from the cycle of fear and develop more secure and trusting relationships.

Here’s a guide for Type 6s to deeply work Step 8:

1. Reflect on Harm Caused by Fear-Based Reactions

Type 6s are often driven by fear and anxiety, which can lead them to react in ways that hurt others, either by pushing people away or clinging too tightly.

Questions to ask:

  • How has my anxiety caused me to hurt others? Have I reacted out of fear in ways that damaged relationships?
  • Have I been overly controlling, distrustful, or suspicious in my relationships due to my fear of being abandoned or unsupported?
  • In what ways has my need for constant reassurance or validation caused harm to those around me?

Example:
You might recognize that you’ve pushed someone away because of your fear of being betrayed, or you’ve overwhelmed a friend or partner with constant demands for reassurance.

2. Acknowledge Where You Have Tested Others’ Loyalty

Type 6s can be prone to testing the loyalty of their loved ones to make sure they can trust them, which can create tension or hurt feelings in relationships.

Questions to ask:

  • How have I tested others’ loyalty, and in doing so, caused harm or hurt feelings?
  • Have I accused or mistrusted people close to me without reason, causing them to feel hurt or distanced?
  • In what ways have I doubted others’ commitment to me, and how has this impacted our relationship?

Example:
You may realize that your constant questioning of someone’s loyalty or intentions has made them feel untrusted, leading to a strained or distant relationship.

3. Identify How Anxiety and Worry Have Impacted Others

Type 6s’ tendency to worry and overthink can create tension in relationships, as their anxious energy may be projected onto others, making them feel overwhelmed or burdened.

Questions to ask:

  • How has my worry or overthinking negatively affected the people in my life? Have I burdened others with my fears and anxieties?
  • Have I placed undue pressure on others to provide me with a sense of security or certainty?
  • In what ways has my need for constant reassurance caused others to feel overwhelmed or exhausted?

Example:
You might recognize that your constant need for validation or security from others has placed an emotional burden on them, causing them to pull away or feel drained.

4. Make a List of People You Have Harmed Due to Fear, Mistrust, or Anxiety

After reflecting on your fear-based reactions, make a list of the people you’ve harmed, whether through emotional outbursts, mistrust, or placing unrealistic expectations on them to provide security.

Steps to take:

  • Write down the names of individuals who have been affected by your anxiety, mistrust, or loyalty-testing behaviors.
  • Be honest about how your fear, insecurity, or control issues have impacted your relationships.

Questions to ask:

  • Who has been hurt by my mistrust, control, or constant need for reassurance?
  • How have my actions stemming from fear and insecurity affected those closest to me?
  • Have I placed unrealistic expectations on others to provide me with emotional or physical security, and how has that caused harm?

Example:
You may list a partner who has felt exhausted by your constant need for reassurance or a friend who has been hurt by your questioning of their loyalty.

5. Become Willing to Make Amends

Finally, the willingness to make amends is key for Type 6s. This requires trusting that the process of making amends will lead to healing, even if it feels risky or uncertain. It’s also an opportunity to let go of the need for certainty and place faith in the process of recovery.

Steps to take:

  • Reflect on your willingness to make amends without seeking control over the outcome or demanding that others provide you with reassurance or validation.
  • Pray or meditate on releasing fear and anxiety, and ask for the willingness to make amends with an open heart, trusting that it will lead to healing.

Questions to ask:

  • Am I willing to make amends without expecting others to reassure me or restore my sense of security?
  • What fears or anxieties come up when I think about making amends, and how can I surrender these to my Higher Power?
  • Can I trust the process of recovery, even if it feels uncertain or vulnerable?

Example:
You might pray for the courage to make amends to someone you’ve mistrusted, without expecting them to prove their loyalty or provide reassurance.

Summary for Type 6s: Working Step 8

For a Type 6, working Step 8 in Overeaters Anonymous involves recognizing how their fear, anxiety, and need for security have led to harmful behaviors in relationships. By reflecting on how they’ve reacted out of fear, tested others’ loyalty, or placed emotional burdens on those around them, Type 6s can begin to make a list of those they’ve harmed. Becoming willing to make amends allows Type 6s to practice letting go of control and trusting in the process of healing, without demanding reassurance or certainty from others. This step is an opportunity for Type 6s to heal their relationships, release their fears, and move forward in recovery with a greater sense of trust and faith.