Enneagram Type 6: Step 5

Enneagram Type 6: Working Step 5 in Overeaters Anonymous

Step 5: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

For Type 6s, working Step 5 involves overcoming their anxiety, self-doubt, and need for security by openly sharing their wrongs with another person. Type 6s often struggle with fear of being unsupported or abandoned, which can make this step particularly challenging. It requires them to confront their insecurities and be vulnerable in sharing their experiences and behaviors.

Here’s a detailed approach for Type 6s to work Step 5:

1. Reflect on Your Resentments and Harm Done

Questions to ask:

  • What specific actions or patterns have contributed to my feelings of fear, insecurity, or mistrust?
  • How have I reacted to situations with anxiety or defensiveness, and how has this affected my relationships and my approach to food?
  • What are the instances where I’ve felt unsupported or abandoned, and how have my responses to these feelings caused harm?
  • How have my fears and doubts influenced my behaviors and decisions in ways that have caused harm to myself or others?

Example:

  • Reflect on a situation where you reacted with excessive worry or suspicion toward a friend’s intentions, leading to misunderstandings or conflicts. Consider how your anxiety impacted the relationship and your behavior around food.

2. Prepare to Share Your Insights

Steps to take:

  • Select a Trusted Person: Choose someone who can provide a supportive and non-judgmental environment, such as a sponsor, therapist, or a trusted friend who understands your struggles.
  • Write Down Key Points: Draft a list of the key insights you want to share, including specific examples of behaviors and patterns you’ve identified.
  • Consider Your Feelings: Acknowledge any fears or discomfort you have about being vulnerable or admitting mistakes. Reflect on how these feelings might affect your willingness to share.

Example:

  • Prepare to discuss a situation where your fear of being let down led you to act out in ways that were controlling or mistrustful. Write down how this fear has impacted your relationships and your self-image.

3. Share with Honesty and Vulnerability

Steps to take:

  • Schedule a Time: Arrange a specific time to meet with your chosen person to ensure both of you can fully engage in the conversation.
  • Be Specific: Share the exact nature of your wrongs, including detailed examples of how your fears and anxieties have led to harmful behaviors.
  • Express Your Feelings: Be open about the emotions you’ve experienced related to these behaviors, such as fear, insecurity, or self-doubt.

Example:

  • During your meeting, you might say: “I’ve realized that my constant fear of being unsupported has led me to overreact in situations where I felt uncertain. For instance, I’ve often questioned the intentions of my friends, which has caused conflict and isolation. I feel anxious about admitting this, but I understand it’s impacting my recovery.”

4. Receive Feedback and Support

Steps to take:

  • Listen Actively: Pay close attention to the feedback and insights your trusted person provides. They may offer perspectives that help you understand your behaviors and how to address them.
  • Ask Questions: If you need clarification or additional support, don’t hesitate to ask. This step is about gaining insight and support to help you move forward.

Example:

  • After sharing, you might ask: “How can I manage my fears and anxieties in a way that allows me to trust others more and reduce my need for control? What practical steps can I take to address these issues in my daily life?”

5. Commit to Action and Change

Steps to take:

  • Develop a Plan: Create actionable steps to address the behaviors and patterns you’ve discussed. This might include strategies for managing anxiety, improving trust, or seeking support when needed.
  • Seek Ongoing Support: Continue to work with your sponsor or support person to review your progress and make adjustments as necessary.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself as you work through these changes. Recognize that overcoming deep-seated fears takes time and effort.

Example:

  • Plan to practice expressing your concerns and fears more openly and constructively rather than letting them fester. Set goals for building trust in your relationships and seeking reassurance in healthy ways. Schedule regular check-ins with your sponsor to track your progress.

Summary

For Type 6s, working Step 5 involves confronting their anxiety, self-doubt, and need for security by openly sharing their wrongs with a trusted person. This step requires Type 6s to address how their fears and mistrust have influenced their behaviors and impacted their relationships and recovery. By being honest, vulnerable, and open to feedback, Type 6s can gain valuable insights, develop actionable plans for change, and make meaningful progress in their journey toward recovery.