Step 5 can be a deeply transformative process that requires courage, vulnerability, and trust. As a sponsor, your role is to create a safe, supportive space to help your sponsee identify character defenses (defects) and the patterns of behavior that cause harm to themselves and others.

 

Preparation for Taking a Step 5

1. Read this whole webpage thoroughly.
2. Print 3–6 blank copies of the Defenses Inventory.
3. Look at the example Character Defense Inventory for your sponsee’s type.

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Process Overview

Welcome Your Sponsee

• • Reassure your sponsee that they are ready for this step, having already completed the first four steps.
  • Acknowledge the work they’ve done to prepare for this moment.

Suggested Words to Use

• • “You are not alone. Nothing you share will diminish my respect for you.”
  • “Whatever you have done or neglected to do, I have done things just as harmful.”
  • “We all are selfish, dishonest, self seeking, and frightened – and we rely on our character defenses to help us cope. You’ve already identified these defenses in Step 4, and we’ll be exploring those today.”
  • “This is a sacred and confidential space. Together, we trust our Higher Powers to guide us lovingly through this process.”

Opening Prayer (Optional)

Higher Power, as we begin the process of Step 5, we invite your presence and guidance. Open our hearts to clarity and understanding. Grant us wisdom and illuminate our thoughts and feelings. May we remain receptive to your love and guidance in this sacred space. Thank you for being with us. Amen.”

 

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Discuss the Process

• • Your sponsee will share their 4th Step inventories; (resentments, fears, and harms done) starting with the (4) questions for each inventory.
  • Let them know that either of you may pause to ask for guidance/clarity at any time.
  • The goal of Step 5 is to identify the “nature of their wrongs,” focusing on character defenses (defects – patterns of behavior that harm their own well being and/or relationships).
  • Together you will create their Character Defenses Inventory for use in later steps.

 

Big Book Reflection

1. Read this quote from page 75 of the Big Book

Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.

2. Ask your sponsee how they feel about these promises and what they hope to gain from Step 5.

 

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Working Step 5

1. Review Character Defenses Together

• • • Click the type-specific Example Defenses Inventory (below) for your sponsee.

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1. • • Let your sponsee know that you will be writing their defenses down while they share, and you will give them this inventory at the end of your session together. If youor sponsee wants to also take notes, print them some blank blank Defense Inventory forms.
     • Ask your sponsee which defenses (in the Example Defenses Inventory) resonate most with them.
     • Write all defenses that resonate with them in the leftmost column of their blank Defense Inventory
     • Invite your sponsee to add any additional defenses they recognize in themselves that are not listed.
     • If you need additional blank inventories, you can print them.
2. Explore Inventories
   • • Ask your sponsee to read/reflect each of their Fourth Step forms (both the questions, and the table).
     • Listen for and record recurring defenses/behaviors, and add these to the leftmost column of their Defenses Inventory.
     • Take breaks as needed to discuss the patterns of behavior that either of you notice and/or to reflect on your sponsee’s progress.
3. Complete the Defenses Inventory
   • • Work with your sponsee to narrow their list of defenses to 10 or less.
     • For each identified defense, discuss and fill out the remaining columns for your sponsee (unless they would like to do it themselves).
       • How It Shows Up
       • How It Harms Me
       • How It Harms Others

 

Example Defenses Inventory (additional rows may be added)

Defense or Pattern of Behavior	How It Shows Up	How It Harms Me	How It Harms Others
Avoiding Conflict	Ignoring difficult issues	Causes resentment and passivity	Leads to unresolved tension
People-Pleasing	Saying “yes” when I mean “no”	Leaves me feeling drained	Creates unrealistic expectations
Over-Control	Micromanaging situations	Increases stress and anxiety	Makes others feel stifled
Self-Doubt	Hesitating on decisions	Keeps me stuck in fear and inaction	Frustrates those who rely on me